merciful love


Have you ever desired something magnificent, but reeled in your imagination so you don't end up disappointed?

As I watched the French countryside rolling past me with ease and grandeur for hours, strokes of tiny golden yellow blossoms illuminated the fields.

Mustard plants. Millions of them. And I couldn't help but recall,

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

“Mountains, eh?" I whispered to the Pyrenees. I could almost here Jesus chuckling, saying, "Did I stutter?"

"Have your way with me, Lord," I prayed. He gently sang to me...

Let all who thirst, let them come to the water.
Let all who seek, let them come to the water.
Let all who toil, let them come to the water.
Let all who are weary, let them come to the water. 
- Matt Maher

I came to the water. The water that millions make pilgrimage to from all ends of the earth in an act of faith. Men and women of every race and age sacrifice time, money, and ease to make way to the grotto of healing anticipating a miracle.

We stood in line waiting to grasp a single drop seeping from the rock. This is what it must have been like as Jesus walked the earth performing signs and wonders, I thought to myself.

I envisioned the outstretched arm straining to touch the edge of his cloak. The man climbing into the heights of a tree to catch a glimpse of the action. Crying and wailing for loved ones to be saved from the pains of disease. Lowering mats through rooftops to grab the attention of the one who restores sight to the blind and commands the lame to get up and walk.

The depth of desire hung over me like a thickened fog. Peering into their eyes, and watching their boldness of faith, I stepped into the mystery to find my place.

I, too, felt desire. I let the layers slip away.

I stepped in.

"I believe in love," I said, as I made the sign of the cross claiming my identity - a beloved daughter. Water crashed over my shoulders as I looked up at the tender gaze of our Blessed Mother. A surge of Jesus' mercy rushing through my limbs, every fiber of my being.

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers crash over me." Psalm 42:7

Nothing left untouched or unchanged. Waves of grace found the hidden, darkened places. Every cavern of my soul filled with his purifying, merciful love.

Risen with my Hope, unbound of weariness, physical pain, and spiritual sorrow. My racing mind was put at ease, in perfect stillness, and I felt lighter, freer, happier - a new creation. An external manifestation of my invisible soul.

“He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!'" Revelation 21:5

I lifted my hands in praise and smiled at his face in the Eucharist, shining brighter than the sun. My sweet, melodious Hope, pried open my heart and conquered me. It's still a mystery, unraveling with every prayer to reveal a new grace upon the prior.

"Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven..." Luke 1:78

Surrounded by her radiant mantle of protection, the joy of the resurrection is alive, falling afresh on me. His perfect love unveils a new dawn.

I am witness to miracles, within and around.

Caught up in the grandeur of your gaze, I renew my vow, "I believe in love."